Category: poetries

Death of the outsider

Now this is going to be a difficult to put in shape,
I am not sure if this is going to be the curtain drop,
Frankly, I am unsure this time what thoughts from my brain may escape,
I am still working on how to make them stop.

For a long while now, maybe since the time I entered the maturity faction,
I grew an strange affection for the unusual fiction.
People used to give examples of fairy tale endings to motivate our childhood adventures,
I however, just hovered towards the darker side, so that my reality quenches.

Everywhere I’ve been, everyone I’ve met, I always felt like an outsider observer,

Trying to get the 360 degree view of each and everyone’s fervour.

Be it the kin, be it the friends, be it anyone,

I had always felt There’s more to it, there’s always a hidden reason.

I have been finding it difficult to breathe in the air,

More I blend in, more I absorb the dispair.

Though I love being around all of them at all moments,

But being the outsider I have been, I may have never felt the warmth of that embrace.

After actually fitting in and being on the inside,

First I thought as the outsider I might leave life on a peaceful night.

Little did I knew, there were that what I’ve become,

I can never be complete untill I have seen the insider’s perception.

It’s strange sometimes that we say that life is unpredictable,

We always plan to live through the end,

It’s the end which takes the cake with all the deception,

And be the real MVP to make the final amends.

Maybe…

How much I miss the capability of converting one single thought to multiple verse,
Now just trying to come up with a solelequi for the entire universe.
Maybe I wasn’t good ever at any of this I had boasted for,
So I am just desperately trying to put words no one care for.

What used to take hours earlier,now isn’t getting shaped even in few days time,
I guess I seriously lost the touch of my prime time.
Maybe I had evolved to be a better person, but now lacks the zeal and creativity,
Maybe I just want to be stable in this life for the sake of finding some serendipity

Looking for some inspirations at maybe virtual and wrong places,
Even trying Gambling to win to get all the ace’s
One may see now how desperate I am to put some words in good Places
Just for completing any nonsensical set of phrases

So many changes happening now in and around the life,
It’s Somewhat impossible to keep a check on the effects on the time,
Had to do a lot of thinking to make sense of the things going on ,
Not sure why I’m trying when nothing was ever in my hand

Taking too much time now to put this randomness altogether to make some sense,
Trying to make them as the pieces of the puzzles of the life,just like the time of adolescence
Maybe I need a break from the things happening around me to solve this problem,
Or I might have to think that it’s just a life’s way to Teach me. It doesn’t require any solutions.

Now even I try to finish off this verse to have my logical conclusion for this affair,
Cannot even think of a title, not sure how this is fair,
Maybe I’ll just keep it, shape it as I wanted,
Maybe from here on now, I’ll have the opportunity to get the best of life, maybe that was always granted.

Fundamental findings

There has to be something wrong with my approach to live,
As I never understood why i am again and again falling in the same circumstances
I might be trying my best to beat the world in its own game to survive,
Albeit I get caught in the crossfire between the thrive to excel and unfortunate chances.

It could be that I am fundamentally wrong,
As I have always been challenged on my ways to see things,
People have been too politically correct and headstrong,
And I feel out of the world as I can’t connect those obvious strings.

If I ask my ‘wellwishers’ for some guidance to not survive but excel,
I get to hear things like ‘mate, you gotta come out of your shell’.
If only I was good enough to explain that this is who I have been,
And trust me just once here, that one is the simplest solution I have seen.

I honestly think, I am fundamentally different,
I accept that.
However, when I yell out, that’s literally everyone,
I get the middle finger by my destiny, by the way, transcribed destiny to everyone around!

I am just a different kind of person like everyone is,
Only difference with me that I want to embrace the differences,
But then again, my thinking might be invaluable as I couldn’t flatter a few,
I feel this apathy not due to being fundamentally challenged, at least, that’s not new.

Eventually I might be the one to give in.
As I am just tired, tired of explaining.